


Someone Like You

by theimaginesyouneveraskedfor



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, a story to get you pent up, whatever, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 10:20:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16173128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theimaginesyouneveraskedfor/pseuds/theimaginesyouneveraskedfor
Summary: Everyone else intends for the reader to court Fili, but her intentions lie elsewhere.





	Someone Like You

You hated this time of year. The mountain was overrun with dwarves from all over Middle Earth and all were in a flurry as they prepared for the oft-pointless banquet. It had been three years since the Mountain had been reclaimed and every year you had suffered through the ostentatious affair, rolling your eyes as the Princes wasted the efforts of the king and their mother.

Dis and Thorin had been given the idea for the yearly ball by Balin, who had repeatedly stressed the need for an heir after the Battle of the Five Armies which had nearly led to the deaths of all three Durins. He was right in his observation that the throne would be left empty without new heirs but it was not the way to find matches for the troublesome princes. You knew better than any that neither Kili nor Fili took it seriously and any match put forward would undoubtedly be overlooked.

Despite your innate cynicism and distaste for such extravagant events, you were ever faithful to Dis and her blood, helping with nearly every aspect of the ball. On the morning of the long-awaited fete, you were in the kitchens rehashing the instructions laid out in fine detail by the King’s sister and huffing over the list of tasks yet to be attended to.

As you left the steaming kitchens with sweat beading along your spine, you ran your hand over your bound hair and continued down the corridor. There were late arrivals to be greeted with a fake smile and then you would have to see that the musicians had their instruments. Last year, you had received a band without so much as a lute.

You ushered in the last of the foreign dwarves to the Mountain as their mules and rams were led away and you left them to be show to their rooms by the attendants. You climbed back up the rocky incline and into the darkened corridors, searching out the large banquet room which would be crowded in only a few hours. There you were relieved to find the musicians tuning their well-kept instruments.

“[Y/N],” A woman’s voice had you turning back to the double doors as the dark-haired Lady of During entered the hall, “You are always so reliable.”

“Dis,” You greeted with a warm smile, “Always. I could never let you down…you’ve a wrath worse than the king.”

“Well, he is my brother,” She chuckled as she stopped beside you, “Though I daresay I am not so petty as him.”

“Perhaps not,” You withheld the smile which came too often at the thought of him, “Now, all is in order…I believe.”

“Yes, so it seems,” Dis looked around with a grin, her blue eyes as mischievous as her eldest son’s, “But what about you, dear? Are you ready?”

“I needn’t be ready,” You crossed your arms, fighting back a resentful sneer, “For I will be soundly retired to my chambers during this…charade.”

“Hmm,” She sighed disapprovingly, “As hard as you work, you are ever the pessimist, [Y/N]. You should enjoy the fruits of your own creation.”

“I will, from my chambers,” You returned, trying to keep your expression neutral, “I am not one for these things, you know. Do you not recall last year?”

“I recall you glowering in the corner,” She shook her head as she crossed her arms, “Glaring at all the dancers. You should not be so glum, [Y/N]. Perhaps if you would give yourself the chance to meet someone…or even consider one you already know—“

“Not you, too,” You looked away with irritation.

“No me too?” She looked quizzical before he eyes caught some movement from behind you, “Ah, brother,” She called over your shoulder as she waved the unseen figure over and you heard footsteps near before the dark-haired king stopped before you and his sister, “Have you been pestering our dear [Y/N]?”

“About what?” He looked from Dis to you and back again.

“You know,” She poked his shoulder, “About your princely nephew.”

“Perhaps,” He admitted guiltily, “But I suspect you were only doing the very same.”

“Yes, but it is not your place to be doing so,” She reprimanded, “It is the business of dwarrows… Besides he is my son.”

“And my nephew,” Thorin rolled his eyes at his sister and you tried not to admire how blue they were, even in his annoyance, “I was only saying that she is a young dwarrow of noble blood and they have known each other for quite a time. They fought together and…would Fili not be better for such a wife?”

“That he would,” Dis agreed with a nod, “And [Y/N] would—“

“Be better left to her own decisions,” You interjected resentfully, “I am not some pawn for you to move around the board. Besides, you have not organized this whole charade for your nephews to marry some common dwarrow.”

The two Durins looked to you as a silence settled upon them and you could sense their thoughts, sure that they were less than pleased to be spoken to so.

“I suppose she is right,” Dis relented though her voice was stern, “Our nephew must make his own decision…and so should she.”

“Perhaps,” Thorin agreed weakly as he continued to stare at you, “I would think it does not help to pressure them…but if Fili is to be king he will need a strong queen.”

“Enough, Thorin,” She set her hand on her brother’s shoulder, “We will let things happen as they will…” Dis’ blue eyes looked back to you sharply, “But she will not be hiding in her chambers. [Y/N], you are to attend the banquet, at the least, your presence is expected. King’s orders, right Thorin?”

“Uh,” Thorin was jolted by his sister’s elbow as he listened, “Yes, king’s orders, [Y/N]. We will see you at the ball.”

“And do not be late,” She pointed at you with in her motherly way though it was far from comforting, “Or I will have Dwalin drag you out of your rooms…and wear something nice this time, there is no place for a sword belt at such an affair.”

“As you wish,” You grumbled quietly with an obedient nod, “My king, my lady.”

Dis took her brother’s arm and turned him back to the large hall as she began to point out all the different decorations she had laboriously picked out over the months. You watched as she dragged him around the room and inspected every inch of furniture as she did. Your eyes unintentionally rested on the king’s shoulders, his dark hair falling in waves over his dark tunic and swaying subtly as he walked. 

You were foolish to think he could ever see you in the same way, that he could ever look at you and see more than the dwarrow who would rather marry her sword than a prince. But that was not true, you would gladly melt your sword down if it meant a ring from him.  _What a dream that was_ ; to be loved by Thorin Oakenshield, The King under the Mountain. 

You turned back to the doors and forced yourself to walk, every step seemed heavier than the last as you got further from the king.  _Had you not shown him how you felt many times before?_  Back on the road when you had nearly lost three of your fingers to an orc just to save him. Or how you had always done his bidding without question and the way you had listened to his every word, even when they were not meant for you. Or perhaps he did know and he did not love you back. Maybe that was why he wanted you to look to Fili, so that he need not reject you so bluntly and let his nephew ease the pain instead.

* * *

You hated these damned banquets but it was made all the more worse by the damned gown you were being forced to wear. Seeing to it that you did not disobey ‘king’s orders’, Dis had arrived at your chamber with the garment in her arms and a devilish smile on her lips. The fabric was a turquoise brocade, much too bright for liking, and the cut was less than preferable. Once you had figured out the dress, you realized with disdain how much of your chest it left uncovered.

You stared into the mirror at your reflection and felt like crying over your own reflection. The gown exaggerated your waist and added to the curve of your hips, and even made your look taller than you truly were.  _Yet, what good was it if it attracted the wrong person?_ As you rethought your earlier exchange with the Durins, you became certain that whether you wanted it or not, you would find yourself betrothed to the golden prince. 

It was not that Fili was a horrible prospect, he was quite the opposite, it was only that you would spend the rest of your years pining over his own uncle. What a miserable creature you were.  _Why could not your heart be as practical as your head?_

Your hair was soft from the wash you had given it earlier and your braids were sleekly wound, though you had done little more than lazily pulled back your locks in a low bun. It was enough to look presentable and you had done enough for Dis as it was. It seemed more and more likely that she would rule your whole life but you would have your little victories and would not show your face as the painted lady she wanted you to be. She was your closest friend but she often overstepped herself.

You made your way into the corridor as you heard the rising voices of the guests as they headed for the banquet hall. You wished this whole night would just pass you by and you could go back to brooding over the dark king and creating your own happy ending in your dreams. All you had to do was smile and bite back the pain; you had already been doing that for so long it was natural.

“[Y/N],” Dis’ dusky voice greeted you as it had earlier, “Don’t you look marvelous.”

“Do I?” You replied grimly without thinking, “I mean, thank you, Dis. You look lovely, too.”

“Come on, it is not so bad,” She smiled at you warmly, “No pressure, I only want you to enjoy yourself.”

“Sure,” You accepted weakly as you let her lead you into the feast hall, “At least the meal will be fine fare.”

“That it will,” She ignored the subtle disdain in your voice, “And I’ve have reserved you a special seat…a reward for all your fine work.”

You stayed silent as she led you through the crowd, past the table of the dwarves of the Company with whom you usually were seated. Instead, she guided you up the steps to the royal dais along the long table where the line of Durin and their closest advisers supped. As close as you were to Dis, you were not often invited to dine among the royal family. Yet, your surprise was curtailed by a spark of irritation as she showed you to your seat…between her and her eldest, Fili. You should have known it was a ploy; as cunning as she thought she was being, it was all too plain what she was playing at.

You sat down begrudgingly, hiding all your dark thoughts behind a smile as you did your best to keep from getting tangled in your skirts. You had to resist the urge to reach for the knife and stab it into the table top, instead gripping harshly at your dainty sleeve. 

“Fili,” You greeted in a fake tone, “You must be excited…this is your night.”

“And Kili’s,” He grumbled dully, “These things are a waste of time.”

“Well, I did not want to say so,” You gave a small snicker, “But…”

“Kili is never going to see any but that elf,” He explained with a frown as he leaned back in his chair, “And all these dwarrows are only here for the sparkle of a silver crown…and they are quite boring, if I am being honest.”

“Hmm,” You withheld another chuckle, he was a charming dwarf, “I do not envy you, truly.”

“Do not rub it in,” He nudged you with his elbow and his eyes seemed to settle on you for the first time, “Oh, you look awfully nice…I do not recall ever seeing you in anything more colourful than grey wool.”

“Quiet you,” You returned with a glare, “This was not exactly my choice.”

“Oh, I know,” He mused as he felt your sleeve between his fingers, “This just smells of my mother.”

“You would know better than any,” You shrugged as you dared not say anything further, “She is a very particular dwarrow.”

“Mmm, and she has impeccable hearing,” He whispered lowly as he motioned to your other side and Dis neared once more, this time with Thorin at her side, “We best leave our grumblings for a better time.”

You nodded absently as you watched Dis near with her brother, his dark hair flawless beneath his silver crown and his dark blue tunic added to the bold hue of his eyes. His effortless majesty was as present as ever and you had never seen him look any more handsome than that night. If it were a banquet for his own courtship, you were certain he would have every dwarrow in the room at this feet.

As he neared, his eyes met yours in the second before you tore your gaze away guiltily and stared instead at the table. That was careless of you to look at him so blatantly. You hoped he did not notice the longing behind your eyes and prayed that these feelings would leave you one day. You could not carry on so, pining after the oblivious king or you would only suffer further. You could be certain of that, as he had made it more than clear that he would rather you with a prince than a king.

* * *

The food was delicious and yet you had barely tasted it as you had struggled to keep from looking at the shining king. You knew that if you dared even a peek, you would find yourself caught and you may not be able to look away. So you focused on your plate and the little jokes Fili was making in your ear, trying to hear him over  thoughts of Thorin. You sensed another set of eyes however and turned to Dis who was watching you with an intent smile.

“Dis,” You said as you leaned over to her, “Would you stop that?”

“I apologize, [Y/N],” She offered in a less than genuine tone, “But it is nice for a mother to see her son getting on so well with a dwarrow.”

“What?” You creased your brow and realized she though his sly remarks had been flirting, “Oh, uh, sure.”

“See, he is not so bad,” She continued on as she beamed at you, “And I am not just saying that because I am his mother.”

“Mm-hmm,” You accepted dully as you nodded, “I know him well. He is a very nice dwarf.”

“I am glad you think so,” She chuckled dryly before she looked around the room and stood, “If I may,” Her voice carried across the hall silencing all, “We would commence the dancing now and thus I invite you all to join in and enjoy the music.”

As she retook her seat, the hubbub built up once more and the sound of shifting chairs and chatter filled the hall as dwarves and dwarrows streamed onto the floor.

“Fili,” She leaned on the arm of your chair as she spoke over your lap, “I think perhaps you should have a dance. This banquet is for your sake.”

“Hmm,” Fili pursed his lips at his mother’s command, “But what about Kili?”

“He seems to realize his duty,” Dis replied bluntly and pointed to her other son who was escorting a dwarrow into the fray, “Now, go, enjoy yourself.”

“But I haven’t got a partner,” He argued glumly.

“Sure you have,” Dis’ hand rested on your wrist, “Right, [Y/N]?”

You looked up at her and then to Fili and he seemed almost as hesitant as you felt. As much as Dis and Thorin were intent on you being with the prince, there was something missing between the two of you. Certainly, you were great friends but you could not ever imagine it being more and he seemed to share the feeling.

“Um, sure,” You gave a pathetic smile and stood, “Why not?”

“Alright,” Fili rose and you could sense his own lack of enthusiasm as he held out his hand, “Let’s dance then.”

You took his hand and let him guide your past his mother and down the steps towards the crowded floor. He settled on a spot amidst the rabble and turned you to him, awkwardly getting into position for the dance. You rested your hand in his and your other upon his shoulder and tried not to show how out of place you felt. As you began to follow the steps, the two of you remained in strained silence and you counted down the beats until you would be done.

“Um, [Y/N],’ Fili’s voice brought your eyes to his, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” You asked, fighting a frown, “I should be more so. I am dancing with a prince and I won’t so much as look in his eyes.”

“I’m sorry that my mother is doing this,” He explained as he darted a glare towards the royal table, “I know this is not what you want…or for that matter, what I want.”

“Oh?” You replied weakly as he turned you and you glanced to his mother but instead your eyes met the king’s and you quickly tore them away, “You don’t?”

“[Y/N], I have known you for years now, fought beside you even,” He began with a meaningful look, “But you will only ever be a friend to me…and I to you. I know it is not me you want.”

“You—what do you mean?” You tried to feign ignorance over his implication.

“Perhaps everyone else here is to blind to see it,” He replied with a pitying frown, “But I know you love Thorin and I know that pretending to love me will do nothing for that.”

“You know?” You said in a quiet voice, “How—I, oh Mahal.”

“Please, don’t be embarrassed,” He pleaded as he pulled you closer to him, “I know it hurts but please, I did not mean to humiliate you, I only meant to help. To let you know that I am here for you.”

“You don’t have to be,” You pulled away slowly as you felt close to crying and your cheeks burned, “Thank you, Fili, but it is not love…it is just foolishness.”

“[Y/N], please,” Fili tried to reach for you as you backed away, “I am trying to help you.”

“I do not need your help,” You argued back, though it lacked the fire burning within you, “I just need…to be alone.”

You turned and pushed past the couples dancing around you, fighting through the fray towards one of the side doors as you grew more desperate to be free. By the time you passed into cool corridor, you felt unable to breath and you barely steadied yourself against your own emotion. Facing the wall, you placed a hand on the stone and leaned on it as you felt weaker than ever; you were such a fool.

You let your head fall forward and were surprised by the sudden warmth upon your cheek as a tear trickled down. You had not realized you were so close to breaking but could do nothing as your shoulders began to tremble and more tears dampened your face. Soon you were standing there in the empty corridor, silently sobbing in your self-pity, with nothing holding you back.

“[Y/N],” You had not heard the footsteps as they passed through the door only a few feet away, “Is everything alright?”

You desperately wiped away the residue of your tears with your sleeves and sniffed back your sadness as you turned to Thorin. He was standing behind you with concern in his eyes and you could barely bring yourself to look at him. Even in the dim light of the corridor, he was magnificent.

“Yes, it’s fine,” You replied quietly, “I just needed to catch my breath.”

“You don’t have to lie to me, [Y/N],” Thorin insisted as he stepped closer, “You know, your nose is all red from the tears.”

“I…” You looked to your feet embarrassed as you rubbed your nose.

“There must be something the matter,” Thorin said softly, “I can’t imagine what though.”

“Nothing,” You answered pointedly, “It’s…stupid.”

“It must be,” He gave a small chuckle, “You’ve no reason to cry looking so.”

“What?” You looked up and met his blue eyes, luminous even in the dim, “I–” You looked down at your gown as he felt the fabric of your sleeve between his fingers, “I hate this thing…it’s hideous.”

“I don’t think so,” He mused as he released the fabric though he seemed reluctant, “I like it.”

“Uh…thank you,” You said quietly as you put your arms behind your nervously, “But you shouldn’t be worrying about me and my moods. You should be out there looking after your nephews.”

“They can take care of themselves,” He shrugged as he kept his gaze on you, “Though I thought you would dance a bit longer with Fili before leaving…he is not why you are crying, is he?”

“Of course not,” You shook your head, “He could never make me cry, I just— really, it’s nothing.”

“So…” Thorin began carefully, “You two are getting along, then?”

“I suppose,” You sighed, realizing he was still intent on that, “We always have but…but I don’t think I’m right for him.”

“How so?” He asked with genuine curiosity, “He smiles at you and you laugh at his jokes.”

“I don’t love him,” You insisted, not wanting to hear this once more; you had already heard the same many a time from Dis.

“Sometimes love takes time,” He countered gently, “And the two of you have a solid foundation on which to build.”

“No!” You nearly shouted as you reached your limit, “Please, just stop! How many times must I refuse?”

“[Y/N], I wasn’t trying to…” He trailed off as he took a breath, “I only want you to be happy.”

“Impossible,” You waved away the notion as your voice lost its strength once more, “I can never love your nephew and I would never be happy with him. I will never be with anyone but—I just cannot.”

“You love someone else?” Thorin said in realization, “That is why you will not consider Fili.”

“…Yes,” You admitted pathetically, “I do and I would not put your nephew through a sham of a marriage. He deserves more.”

“And so do you,” Thorin’s tone softened, “Whoever it is who has stolen your heart, they are fortunate indeed and you should tell them. I have never known you to be cowardly, [Y/N].”

“Ha,” You scoffed sadly, “He does not love me though…He could not.”

“You do not know that,” Thorin creased his brow caringly, “How could you know if he does not know?”

“And how do you know he doesn’t know, hmm?” You asked dryly.

“Because I know if he did, he could not deny you,” Thorin replied without hesitation, “That is how I know.”

“Do you?” You were holding back tears again as his eyes met yours, “Would you not deny me then? If I told you it was you?”

“M-me?” He stuttered as he face paled, “I–”

“Just as I thought,” You looked away unable to watch the change in his expression, “You were wrong and I am a fool.”

A silence filled the corridor and even the roar from within the hall seem muted by the tension which had thickened the air. You inhaled deeply, fighting back the tears which threatened, and turned away from Thorin as the pain began to rip at your heart. Before you could take your first step away however, he caught your arm and held you in place.

“[Y/N],” He said quietly, though his voice was near deafening amid the heavy silence, “Please, look at me.”

You shook your head as you continued to stare at the stone of the floor and fought to keep breathing steadily.

“[Y/N],” He repeated your name and his finger brushed your neck as he lifted your chin to make you look at him, “Please…”

You looked into his blue eyes which to your surprise were much brighter than you had ever seen them as if they were burning. The tears once more bit at the corner of your eyes and you prepared your heart for the final blow.

“I was not wrong,” He leaned in closer as his voice was nearly a whisper, “I only…I never thought you would feel so about me. I am not so young as my nephew.”

Your eyes widened as his words sunk into your brain and you tried to convince yourself that he was truly saying what you thought.

“But if you would have me,” He breathed weakly, “I could not bring myself to say no…for I love you, too. So much that it hurts.”

“You do?” You wondered aloud, “But…then why Fili?”  
“Because I would see you happy,” His fingers trailed along your chin and he cupped your cheek in his hand, “Whether it be with me or another. I would only see you smile…please?”

And without a thought, you did just that. The tears which had welled so heavily behind your eyes receded and an air of lightness filled your head. Your lips curled as relief and elation filled your soul and the warmth of Thorin’s touch spread through your body. You realized he was leaning closer than before and your lips met his without hesitation as the longing you had harboured for so long flowed from you.

As he pulled your closer to him, his other arm wrapped around you warmly as you brought yours up to hug him tightly. You could feel his own passion as it spread from him to you and sunk into his embrace. You could not withhold the desperation which had built within you over the years of unrequited emotion and you vowed to cling to him until all the strength left your body.


End file.
